disappointment

since the beginning of this semester, due to my 19-credit-hour subjects i'm facing, i tend to prioritize my studies but at the same time not 'fully' neglecting other responsibilities (but i have to admit that i neglected some.. T__T). however i realize that my heart and mind became more and more - how should i say this - dry?? and ignorant..

so i pushed aside the feeling of guilt for not studying and decided to attend the Iron Wall screening organized by COMPLETE, which was followed by a forum despite having my exams around the corner..
all because of the reason that i've read through the questions drafted by the forum moderator, someone i really look up to that is Dr. Hafidzi Mohd Noor - the director of PACE, and that one of the forum panelist would be Ust Maszlee Malik.
i thought with the presence of these two big figures i respect would make the forum 'hot and lively'.

while watching 'The Iron Wall' in the dark auditorium, a headache slowly sneaked into my head. i ignored it coz the documentary film was a good one ^^ especially for those who want to know more about the real issue.

the screening ended after a while and the event continued with a forum. i waited eagerly for the two very-familiar faces but they did not appear on stage. instead, the forum was moderated by someone i never knew of and the panelist were the palestinian ambassador and another person i did not recognize.
i was confused.. where are Dr Hafidzi and Ust Maszlee?

the forum moderator (middle) and panelists

i texted my friend, who happened to be incharge of the auditorium's backstage and asked if there will be another forum following the ongoing one.. he said no. still confused, i texted Makcik Azian (one of PACE's fellows) and ask her where is Dr Hafidzi and Ust Maszlee, only to know that she is as confused as i am. i also texted Dr Hafidzi and Ust Maszlee's wife, Ustzh Hamidah but there was no reply.

the backstage guys

i could not focus. the Palestinian Ambassador was reading - yes, reading - from his text about the Apartheid Wall and honestly, i did not care to listen because he was reading repeating talking about what we all had watched in the Iron Wall screening. i told my hubby i'd rather go home and study. then it was the other panelist turn and he started to read from his text too! my hubby went out of the auditorium while i waited for TJ and a friend who carpooled with us. soon, i realized many of the audience took off as well, for some unknown reasons.

outside, we met Dr Hafidzi and Ust Maszlee. now, what had happened???

Ust Maszlee & Dr. Hafidzi while the forum is going on

Before the forum, the Palestinian Ambassador was surprised to see Dr Hafidzi and he said something like "i don't want that man" and when he saw Ust Maszlee he was even more shocked and demanded for Dr Hafidzi and Ust Maszlee not be sitting with him on stage discussing about the Iron Wall!

why??? because he knows that both Dr Hafidzi and Ust Maszlee's stands about the issue are against his - to put it in a simple way, it's like a mild version of HAMAS vs. Fatah - and he was a little bit too coward to face embarassment the truth. ** i still clearly remember in a forum a couple of years ago how he tried his best to avoid answering some controversial questions regarding Fatah and HAMAS but that's another story **

the Palestinian ambassador

how can this issue end when people who doesn't want to speak out about the truth still exist??? how can this issue end when people still misuse their power for their own interest???

in the end, i was and still am truly disappointed,
especially because i had chosen not to study this morning and then got a bad headache!

but we're all sure that there are hikmah behind all these that happened today.
and i'm sure you will never say "serves u right for ditching your school books and notes for (just) one morning" if you really understand the plight of the Palestinians..

p/s: this piece may sound bias because it's really MY point of view.

Ka Dijah, Ustzh Hamidah, Rufaydah & me ^_^

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entry continued on 6th of April

oh i just can't help but to continue this post! *tried not to since this morning*
reported by Makcik Azian who stayed until the forum ends:

during the Q & A session, Ust Maszlee who was supposed to be one of the panelists but end up sitting with the audience raised up a controversial question on who supplied the cement for the construction of the wall, but he was interrupted by the angered ambassador, who denied the fact that Saudi Arabia was the cement supplier and said that we should not be blaming anyone (especially the Arabs).

in addition to the cover up, the panelist from Wisma Putra (the guy i have no idea of before) warned that the world might label us as people who make up stories if the forum is broadcasted worldwide, because the Media has a huge influence on everyone - which caused the audience to become more unsatisfied and angry.
the forum was brought to an end by the moderator although there were still people who wanted to ask questions.

ah what a bunch cowards and liars..