Wednesday, September 26, 2012

how far can patience go?

Migraine attack for more than 24 hours already.

Plus all the stress, and gastric pains. Doctor said I should try my best to avoid any drug at this time. All causing nausea and vomiting. And don't tell me, I will tell you, I always get that even when I'm not pregnant, even before I got married.

I'm planning to do something on the 14th year anniversary of my secret marriage with Mr. Migraine.. The idea is still under construction so it's still a secret. hohoho... actually, I've been planning to divorce him many times, but things just didn't work out and I'm still stuck with him practically at least once or twice a month for countless of days... well it's actually countable but not remember-able.

anyways, I've been wondering, how does expecting mothers wait, and be patient, and face the uncertain future when the doctor announced that the baby's having some developmental problem. 

I know a dear friend - not so close to me - who actually carried a baby with a hole in her skull for 7 months, and doctors said that the baby will either die in the womb during the third trimester or immediately after birth.

And my hubby got a very strong cousin who actually carried and gave birth to a baby with a defect heart. Doctors said the most number of days he would survive was up to a week. His mother - an A&E doctor - managed to take care of him until a bit more than a month.

And after delivering Ikram, a friend came to visit me and told me that we should all be thankful to Allah even for the one child Allah has given us. Some doesn't even get a baby at all, and some, after the first one didn't get to have another child for many, many years.

I really wonder how patient and strong they are when they face those difficult times.

My doctor told me to wait for another week before another diagnosis, but I just keep thinking and thinking about it, about all possibilities from best to worse, and of course when thinking all the worries and tension comes in too.

Ya Allah... please make me strong and healthy! I cannot afford to get sick all the time...

parents' love?

i couldn't believe i actually shed some tears for some kids when i got home, and the whole idea bugged my head the whole night. earlier yesterday, they told me, someone said to them "i know your parents don't give you love at home, and you come to school seeking attention from teachers".

believe me or not, those words did not come with sympathetic tones, as the kids described it, but it sounded more like an insult. and i doubt those words come from a sympathetic heart. or maybe those words did come from a sympathetic heart but with a completely wrong tone at the wrong time.

i won't say i grow up with lack attention from my parents, they indeed have done everything they could to ensure my siblings and i grow up well with the best education n life we could ever get. but hearing that from the kids really stabbed my heart. my mind raced to the time when i was at their age.

how could someone simply reassure you that you're not getting enough love from your parents??? what do you feel if someone tell you your parents love their work more than they love you? and worse, some of those kids do actually come from broken families.

i know that might be the reality of life. but kids are kids. they need to grow up convinced that their parents love them, even though they feel the opposite deep down in their hearts.

is it our responsibility to spit out the plain killing truth at the kids, or is it our responsibility to support them emotionally in any way we can?

whatever happens at home is between the kids and their parents. and we teachers absolutely do not have any right to tell the kids that their parents is loving them less than they are supposed to.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

my students

ah, somehow i haven't put up any pictures of my students, right? here we go :) well, ya, if you look at each of them carefully u can see several other teachers as well :)

i've officially taught them since May 2011. that's more than a year now, alhamdulillah.

i have yet to retrieve my picture with my other class. will update them soon, inshaAllah :)

eid 2012 :)

Eidul-Fitr 2012

Ikram turns 2!

Ikram Fakhri's 2nd year of adventure. 12 April 2012

Ikram sleep-eating

okay, i've decided to post some things now :)

Ikram @ 2 yrs 2 mnths
He was so tired during lunch after swimming for quite a long time after breakfast.

sapu habuk je..

wow. i'm finally back typing. i've been wanting to blog about many things but just couldn't get the chance to sit or even sign into this blog!

nak sapu habuk je!

hihi! thanks for dropping by ;)