Wednesday, September 26, 2012

how far can patience go?

Migraine attack for more than 24 hours already.

Plus all the stress, and gastric pains. Doctor said I should try my best to avoid any drug at this time. All causing nausea and vomiting. And don't tell me, I will tell you, I always get that even when I'm not pregnant, even before I got married.

I'm planning to do something on the 14th year anniversary of my secret marriage with Mr. Migraine.. The idea is still under construction so it's still a secret. hohoho... actually, I've been planning to divorce him many times, but things just didn't work out and I'm still stuck with him practically at least once or twice a month for countless of days... well it's actually countable but not remember-able.

anyways, I've been wondering, how does expecting mothers wait, and be patient, and face the uncertain future when the doctor announced that the baby's having some developmental problem. 

I know a dear friend - not so close to me - who actually carried a baby with a hole in her skull for 7 months, and doctors said that the baby will either die in the womb during the third trimester or immediately after birth.

And my hubby got a very strong cousin who actually carried and gave birth to a baby with a defect heart. Doctors said the most number of days he would survive was up to a week. His mother - an A&E doctor - managed to take care of him until a bit more than a month.

And after delivering Ikram, a friend came to visit me and told me that we should all be thankful to Allah even for the one child Allah has given us. Some doesn't even get a baby at all, and some, after the first one didn't get to have another child for many, many years.

I really wonder how patient and strong they are when they face those difficult times.

My doctor told me to wait for another week before another diagnosis, but I just keep thinking and thinking about it, about all possibilities from best to worse, and of course when thinking all the worries and tension comes in too.

Ya Allah... please make me strong and healthy! I cannot afford to get sick all the time...

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