Epilog Pejuang

23rd June 2006 Excited, we departed pretty early for Queen Alia International Airport. Reached the airport 2 hours before the 0155 hours midnight flight, and after sometime of wandering around, we bid goodbye to those who sent us and headed for the check-in counter. “Your ticket has been fully cancelled” said the man at the counter, and he asked us to refer to the Royal Jordanian reception. “Your ticket has been fully cancelled” the other man at the Royal Jordanian reception printed. Cancellation dated somewhere in April, when we decided to change the return ticket to 23rd June instead of 12th. Subhanallah, Ustaz Shahabuddeen was with us. He’s now a diplomat in Jordan, working for the Malaysian Embassy. He called some people and got the three of us into the waiting list. We waited for another 50 minutes. We prayed and prayed and prayed. My already-6-hours headache lessens. That is what usually happens when I’m in deep stress, alhamdulillah… But after things settled, it’ll return and I

13th June 2006 It’s been more than two months living without shrimps, so we were really exited when we got some udang kering. Those ustaz following al-Bayan programme gave us a small bag of udang kering and ikan bilis before they returned to Malaysia. So, masaklah sayur campur dengan gembiranya… Kejap-kejap curi sikit, kejap-kejap curi sikit. Soon when we started the meal, my nose felt hot and painful. I soon remembered that I’m a little allergic to shrimps. Eyes went wet and good gracious we have some ice in the freezer. Ape lagi, jadi macam orang hidung berdarah lak, letak ais kat hidung. Kak Maziah said it’s resdung. I don’t know. Anyway, the main point is: I never felt so terrible with food. Harap-harap balik Malaysia nanti boleh makan udang!!! Huwaaaa!!!!!!

20th May 2006 Assalamu’alaikum… Subhanallah… Bertubi-tubi peluru peringatan dilepaskan dan terkena tepat pada saraf-saraf otak ana yang kurang berfungsi. Hidup di Jordan ni boleh dikatakan hibernating tahap tak boleh dimaafkan. Sepanjang masa hanya terfikirkan ’tekanan’ darjat peningkatan belajar bahasa arab yang masih amat tidak memuaskan. Namun segala puji bagi Allah yang sentiasa mengingatkan hamba-hambaNya yang sering leka dan alpa dengan dunia, wujudnya seorang rakan baru yang sering mengingatkan bahawa diri ini pastinya akan kembali kepada Allah tanpa mengira masa dan usia. Walaupun sebenarnya cara penyampaiannya cukup menguji kesabaran, peringatan inilah antara nasihat yang paling berharga buatku. Tapi aku pelik pada mereka yang terlalu ingin berkongsi ilmu dengan orang lain, sehinggakan dilayannya orang yang mendengar seperti orang yang amat nipis dan tipis ilmunya. Tapi diri sendiri tertanya-tanya juga, ”begitukah aku satu ketika dulu? Pernah dibenci dan dimaki oleh mereka yan

- anyone can help me!!! how to eliminate that date?! - 11th, 12th & 13th May 2006 Cancelled all classes on Thursday ‘coz we’re going to Syria and Lubnan for the weekend. Were supposed to catch the bus at 10:30 a.m., but the bus left. Why? Because we stopped by to get something very important from a friend but nobody was punctual. Promised to meet at Baab Shimali of al-Jami’ah al-Urduniyyah at 9:45 a.m. We reached there couple of minutes before 10:00 a.m., but that friend was not there. Called, but the phone wasn’t answered. Waited and waited, tried to get her through her roommate, she finally gave us a call, informing us that she’d meet us at 11 and is still at home, unready. I was furious, for that wasn’t the first time. Good gracious her apartment is just ‘a little walk away going up the hill’, we hiked to her home, and still had to wait a minute or two before the door was answered. Alright, I’m not trying to backbite here, but the first lesson everyone, including me!, should lea

30th April 2006 This’s the only piece recorded for the day. It was written by that girl sitting at the roof-top of Ajloun Castle of pemerintahan Salahuddin al-Ayyubi. [referring to one of the pictures attached] Eighteen and a half years of age Taught me that I have been living in a cage I knew nothing about the world outside For I was not used to have strangers by my side When I first stepped out into the real world I learnt that I have no choice but to be bold In order to survive through this life of tests I have to believe that He always grant me the best All pain endured are meant to make me stronger 'Coz the future will surely be much tougher For patience and strength will I continuously pray Oh Allah, lead me through every step of this worldly play