It . Came . Back

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It . Came . Back

Kacau

It's been 15 years
Why did you return?

.

I believe that dreams actually reflect whatever is actually going on in our subconscious mind.

But some dreams just never make sense.

And to add up to that, the repetitive dreams of the same thing - that definitely doesn't make any sense.

Horror ones.

Like humans parts getting cut up into pieces, and sold in the market ? 
Just like how the butchers do???
Fingers in a plate ?!
Or you can choose to have a whole hand instead ?!
A whole leg hanged from the canopy rail ?!
A whole spine to be cooked into sup tulang ?!
And you start to wonder, wasn't these parts of the girl you just met yesterday ?!
And worse, someone hid a whole box, parts of a person so dear to you, inside your closet ?!

What the H*LL ???

Horror ones.

Like being chased by some pagan priest,
trying to convert you and join them to worship the sun ?!

Horror ones.

Like getting chased to be killed . 
Actually getting killed .
Roaming around predators, carnivorous creatures .
Running aimlessly for nothing .

And that particular series of dreams-turned-into-reality...

Where that person
Who had promised to spend the rest of his life
With you
Left
Simply . just . left
Without a trace

Just a couple of times,
The dream of him leaving involved the existence of another girl, unknown.
But in short,
All those similar, repeated dreams were haunting me from time to time.
In the early phases, I would wake up crying in the middle of the night.
Just like how I would wake up startled with the horror bloody events of humans getting cut up and sold in the night market.

But soon, I got used to it.
No more crying. 
No more getting all worked up for the next few days.
I never liked it though, and I wonder about what it meant, from time to time.
And some years later, I forgot all about it.

The dreams never appeared again
Because in reality,
He slowly faded away from my life.
Disappeared from the place
He had once occupy
In my heart.
Detached.
Emotionally, physically, mentally.

And I didn't remember about this dream,
Until I made up my mind
To fully let him go.

I wonder
I really wonder
The dreams...
Was it part of God's plan
To mentally and emotionally prepare me for what was coming
Years before it was going to happen

Yet
That bloody human butchery
Doesn't make sense at all
That pagan priest
What does it have to do with any part of my life?

Whatever monster you are
Please . Don't . Come . Back

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