Epilog Pejuang

   i never thought even a broken friendship could be so painful. when years of friendship gets destroyed in an instant, in just a few words, because of ego, selfishness and self-centered mind. when years of friendship turns to be worthless and not appreciated. when years of friendship gets responded with a sarcastic insult. if there's a chance to let things out and talk about it, i think i would. but now, it's just too painful that i don't want to talk about it. i'm just not ready because i know with you - you will want to win and be right about what you think, and everything else does not matter. not even friendship matters. because that was how you previously treat other people in your life. and now it's me.

22nd June 2020 I was breaking and nearly stopped functioning. I was trembling and my heart was beating so fast. Breathless and panicking. I knew something was not right in me. And this was not the first time in the past few months. I grabbed all purple and pink essential oils on my rack - Lavender, Harmony, Release, Transformation, Motivation, Grounding, Joy. Tonyoh dan deep inhale semua. I desperately needed to get out of this situation. I needed different environment. But I couldn't go far. In fact, I have nowhere to go. So I drove to a nearby coffee shop and sat there for many many hours. Suddenly, I finally gathered up the courage to get more help. Called a doctor friend and went to get a a referral letter to get 'treatment'. 15th July 2020... Diagnosed with MDD - Major Depressive Disorder. While I acknowledge this sh*t, I am not proud of it. Macam jadi trend pulak anak-anak muda zaman sekarang jadi stress. While I wish people around me know what I am going through ...